If This is Real
by Out-of-Character217
Summary: It's not the first time Cloud's mind has played tricks on him. But this time, he has so much more to lose.


**A/N: **This is the result of three months of solid writers block, in which I have been unable to put anything down to paper. I've struggled with the block before, but never to this extreme. My job and my studies have had to take priority for the most part, as my energies have been so depleted, but hopefully now that I have a few ideas and a bit of spare time, I can return to my most favourite place: the Strifehart fandom.

I should hopefully be able to post the next chapter of SQUF very soon, along with a few other oneshots. I'm so sorry for the time I've been away and I promise to make more time and give more energy to this wonderful fandom. Until then, enjoy. Xxx

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_"I could not ask you where you came from,_

_I could not ask and neither could you._

_Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips,_

_We could just kiss like real people do."_

-Hozier

**If This is Real  
**

Leon shifted, his body weight making the bed springs groan as he turned at his lover's carefully whispered words.

'What?' he asked, his voice husky and deep. He'd been on the edge of sleep, content and peaceful when Cloud's question had pulled him back.

'This… this is real, right?'

The simple words were quiet and tentative, the deep burr of the blond's voice softened by insecurity and in the silence that followed Leon struggled for an answer to the strange query.

'I… I don't understand.' Waking up a bit now, he rubbed the heal of his palm against one sleep misted eye and raised himself up into his elbow, looking down at his new found lover who was laid on his side, one arm curled underneath the pillow.

'Sometimes…' Cloud began, his large blue eyes appearing glassy and vacant as he stared at the spot Leon had been sleeping in. 'Sometimes I get things mixed up. In my head.'

Leon's brow furrowed, clearly not understanding.

'It's happened before. I thought things were real… and they weren't.' Cloud continued, his voice still soft and timid as he spoke of things that Leon had no notion of. 'Sometimes it's hard to tell… it's hard to trust myself. To know what's real and what isn't'

With a careful and steady hand, Leon raked the hair from around Cloud's face back and behind his ear, revealing the smooth and lightly freckled skin, and placed his palm against the warm cheek. He knew enough from Tifa and even Aerith to guess that the blond had been through traumas far too terrible to even imagine and his understanding grew as he watched the fear and the uncertainty dance in Cloud's eyes. He'd never be able to get it. Not completely. His mind had never played tricks on him and he'd always known himself – insecurities and all. He'd never been unsettled by the thought that his sanity was threatened or that the very core of who he was as a person could turn out to be a lie. But Cloud… Cloud had always carried that air or uncertainty around with him. Behind all of that bravado and false confidence there was a man that had never really gotten to know who _he_ was. He was still so unsure of himself and the vulnerability made Leon wince with sympathetic pain.

Settling himself back into the pillows, his hand still cupping the younger man's cheek Leon placed himself into Cloud's line of sight.

'This is real.' He replied gently, the vibrations of his words strong in the space between them. 'I'm with you… and you're with me.' He tried to soothe, unsure if he was saying the right things or not.

When Cloud didn't respond and that anxious look on his face remained, Leon pulled himself closer until their foreheads touched.

'I'll keep reminding you, if you want.' He murmured, slipping his hand to the back of Cloud's neck and squeezed lightly, the pressure was gentle but reassuring: a weight to ground him. 'Until you believe me.'

Cloud screwed his eyes shut as if in pain and let out a small breathy sigh, fatigue and weariness obvious in the simple gestures.

Leon understood; as much as he could. Cloud was tired. He was tired of his demons and the power they possessed over him. The weight of that kind of doubt must have been exhausting and for the first time since setting his eyes on the warrior, thought it would be far from the last, Leon was awed by him.

'I promise,' Leon found himself saying. 'If ever you get mixed up, I'll remind you.'

Cloud opened his eyes and this time they were a little clearer, the light in them a little stronger. He nodded, his lips pressed into a serious and pale line. He felt the older man's breath on his skin and the vibrations of his voice; he saw the hard and serious glint in his eye and sensed the warmth of the body curled up so close to his own and reassured himself that yes, this was real. And although his imaginings always manifested themselves from the things the blond secretly wanted, he was content to believe, for now, that the man in front of him was telling him the truth.

Leon brought their lips together and placed a kiss there, warm and gentle, with no meaning behind it except to comfort.

'Get some sleep.' He whispered, kissing the tip of the warrior's nose and then the spot where his forehead had touched Cloud's, before the blond tucked his head beneath Leon's chin, curled his arm around the brunet's waist and finally closed his eyes.


End file.
